John to Consultant:
“My boss Alexander told me I’d receive a two-month bonus by January 13. But when I reminded him yesterday over lunch, he said, ‘I never promised you anything like that.’”

Does Alexander simply have a bad memory?

Ira, who works in another department, to Consultant:
“Alexander makes up decisions after the fact—you can’t win with him. But I’m 65, two years from retirement, so screw it. What do I care!”

So, does Alexander suffer from poor memory? Or is something else going on? These situations often put people in a bind.

What’s the best way to approach stories like these about CEO Alexander?
Here are three possible interpretations:

1. Manipulation

Managers sometimes use selective memory as a tool—to back out of commitments, shift blame, or adapt to changing realities. It’s uncomfortable, but realistic. Alexander’s behavior could well be part of a deliberate strategy. Look for a pattern—that’s the first step. In my 45 years of experience, I’ve found that “bad memory” is very often just a convenient excuse.

2. Organizational Memory Gaps

Sometimes, people genuinely remember things differently, especially when vague language is used (“early next year” or “should be ready by spring”). If key decisions aren’t documented—via a written plan, meeting summary, or even a text—it becomes an issue of organizational memory.
But be aware: some organizations resist formal documentation because it locks them into decisions. Ambiguity can be a tactic too.

3. Actual Memory Loss

If this sort of “forgetting” keeps happening—and you’ve personally noticed it—it may be time to consider whether the person is under significant stress. Start there: talk about stress.
If it doesn’t appear to be stress-related, and conflicting recollections become frequent, gently raise the idea of speaking with a medical professional. Memory loss, in rare but real cases, might be a genuine health concern.